The Madness of Doctor Zaius

“Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I am all in favor of it. But your behavior studies are another matter. To suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from the study of man is sheer nonsense. Why, man is a nuisance. He eats up his food supply in the forests, then migrates to our green veldts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated the better. It’s a question of simian survival”. Doctor ZaiusDoctor Zaius, obviously, is not an advocate for studying the nature of man. But what about WOMAN? Ah, perhaps this could prove fruitful! With the help of his trusted human assistant, the famous Russian therapist Svetlana Chenkov, Doctor Zaius will experiment on a young American female whose name, rights, and pursuit of happiness don’t matter; she is simply known as “human subject 404”. Doctor Zaius believes much can be learned by poking her, slapping her, shocking her, and finally, covering her nude body with wet food. What he expects to learn is difficult to guess. All we know for sure is, there’s much scientific merit in slathering a woman’s ass cheeks with chocolate, or rubbing her tits and belly with yogurt and honey. Start tossing some baked beans on her and who knows what exciting gateways of knowledge will open fast and wide.If you remember, Taylor (back in 1968) thought he was in a madhouse. That wasn’t a madhouse – THIS is a madhouse! So pull out those sacred scrolls, brush up on the articles of faith, review those simian laws, and prepare for a wild journey into the forbidden zone. Please enjoy today’s feature presentation, “The Madness of Doctor Zaius”. And always remember these words –”Never trust anyone over the age of forty”.-Taylor