Ludella Hahns – Ludella 990 Exotic Dancer Fembot Meltdown – A Robot Malfunction Film
The Fembot unit Ludella 990 is in her charging base when her owner calls the house. She registers the ringing and leaves her charger to answer it. “Hello, Ludella speaking.” “Hey babe.” “Who am I speaking with?” “Babe, it’s me. Your OWNER.” Ludella registers the information. “Oh, hello HONEY.” The man on the phone tells her that his ex’s new boyfriend is coming to pick up some books and he wants her to be friendly with him, offer him a beer, and tell him how she’s way hotter than his ex, Theresa. He wants her to get him to admit that he thinks so, too. “Sure, HONEY. I can do that.” He tells her to go get a beer and wait by the door so that she can catch him by surprise. “His name is Kyle or Carl or something. You got all that?” “Sure, HONEY.” He tells her to make sure she follows all his instructions and he’ll see her at home later. Ludella 990 hangs up the phone and does as instructed, walking in her skimpy Exotic Dancer unit outfit and white pumps, her shoes clacking on the hardwood as she goes to the fridge to retrieve the beer and then make her way to the door. Her battery level is blinking green. But then hours go by as she waits frozen by the door and her battery drains. “I need to recharge.” She registers when the red light beeps on her heel. She begins walking back to her charging base when the doorbell rings, triggering her instructions, and she reroutes back to the intercom. CLICK. “Hello. How may I help you?” “Hi, I’m just here to pick up some books,” a female voice responds from the other side. Only knowing what her owner told her, the unit mistakenly calls the female voice “Kyle or Carl” and presses the button that opens the door. POV enters, “Hi, I’m Theresa. Kyle had a meeting.” Ludella takes in the new information, but continues to follow her other orders of offering beer and talking about how her owner thinks she’s way hotter than her. “Your ex thinks I’m really hot. What do you think?” “Uh, sure. You’re really pretty. I’m just going to get those books now if you don’t mind.” She passes by the frozen unit with her blank stare to get the books. Ludella continues to follow her, talking about how hot she is, but she receives another low battery notification. “I need to recharge.” She begins walking to her charging base when Theresa says she’s heading out, which again retriggers the unit to reroute and follow her instructions of offering beer and trying to get Theresa to say how hot she is. Theresa gets increasing annoyed by how many times she’s turned down the beer and how Ludella is not opening the door for her but continues to tell her how hot she is. “Look, I don’t know what the problem is, but I just came for the books, okay? I wouldn’t want that beer anyway, but if you want to open it, be my guest.” Ludella takes in the new instruction. “Sure, Theresa, I can do that.” She opens the beer, but it’s been shaken around so much by her diminishing human-smooth movements and dying battery, so it begins to pour out foam and beer all down her legs and into her charging ports. “Here, have a beer. Take a seat. I need to recharge.” “Wait, what are you…?” “I am Ludella 990 Exotic Dancer.” “Ooooh…okay. I get it. Well, if you could get the door for me, I would really appreciate it.” Meanwhile the beer has really seeped into the untit, causing sparks and triggering a major meltdown. Between this and her dying battery, the Ludella 990 unit begins malfunctioning like crazy, repeating portions of all her recent dialogue, her face twitching and motions becoming stiffer and more robotic. After quite a while of her malfunction she sparks and falls back into the door button, finally opening the door for Theresa (albeit by accident) and then twitching until she reaches her unit shutdown, falling forward with one eye turned inward and arms hanging, mouth wide, and smoke seeping out of her backside. “THANK YOU,” Therasa says, agitated at how long the ordeal was, and then, being snarky she says to the robot with smoke pouring out of her, “And you’re right, Ludella. You’re SMOKING hot.”
